At my core, I believe we were all put here to contribute to the fulfillment of a purpose and that purpose must, of necessity, include feeling a sense of accomplishment and contribution – for me, that equals joy. Before you dismiss me as a Pollyanna, know that I believe in hard work – whether that’s at my job, in my hobbies, or when planning and organizing my home life to bring maximum joy to myself and my family. I am an efficiency junkie because I have an infinite number of things I need to do and an equally infinite number of things I want to do. I am fond of saying “I live the heck out of every day.” Figuring out the things that truly matter to you is the first step toward living a purposeful life. Essentialism will encourage you to do that and to take action to move your life toward fulfilling your purpose.

Here are the top five things that I am taking away from this book.

If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will

Take the time to stop and consider requests and whether they are your priority or someone else’s. Are you trying to please the requestor? Remember that your time is your most precious non-renewable asset. Don’t give it away without considering the trade-offs you will make to fulfill the request. Use the acronym WIN – “What’s Important Now” and be sure you are committing your precious time to something that matters to you.

If it isn’t a clear yes, then it’s a clear no

Is this request something that you are excited about? Will you be glad you supported the endeavor? Is this something you have been wanting to do and is possibly even on your “bucket” or priority list? If it doesn’t ignite a flame of desire within you, then pass.

Give yourself permission to stop trying to do it all, to stop saying yes to everyone, so you can make your highest contribution toward the things that really matter

Fear of missing out, flattery at being asked, or societal pressures can induce us to say yes to things that we don’t really want to do. After all, we think, “someone has to…(fill in the blank)”. Or perhaps you believe it is a quick task that won’t take up much time, or you feel obligated to the requestor, or even that only you can do the thing the “right way.” See takeaways # 1 and 2. You only have a limited amount of time and energy to fulfill your own highest priorities. Every minute of “spare” time you give up is a minute of time you aren’t engaged with your highest priorities.

A choice is an action, a thing we do, not just something we have. We don’t necessarily control our options, but we do control how we choose among them.

For the most part in the United States, we are offered seemingly infinite choices. Should we go out for Mexican, American, Vietnamese, Italian, or some other type of food…or should we order in? Even grocery shopping has become a boutique of options. Shop local or chain? Farmer’s Market? Grocery Delivery? And so on. Every choice you make includes an action, and, by definition, excludes the action of making a different choice. Options can be removed, but our ability to take the action – to choose – cannot be. It might mean inconvenience (e.g., the Farmer’s Market is only open on Saturdays), but we can choose, which could mean shopping when it’s less convenient to fulfill our higher purpose of reducing our “carbon footprint.”

The reality is that either we can say no and regret it for a few minutes, or we can say yes and regret it for days, weeks, months, or even years.  Their problem is not your problem.

Like many, I want to please the people around me. When someone asks me to serve on a committee or volunteer to support their favorite charity or help them raise money for research, my automatic, emotional response is “Sure!” – which is rapidly followed by thoughts of “Uh oh, what did I just commit to?” It typically means I must give up something important to me…hours at work (in a job I love), sleep, or even time with my family or my favorite hobby (which is dancing, but that’s another story). Saying yes to a friend, family member or colleague generally means making their priority your priority. See takeaway #2. If it isn’t something that makes you want to drop everything else you’re doing and rush right out and get busy, then take some time and delay your answer until you have clarity about what the opportunity cost truly is. In other words, what opportunities are you foregoing to meet this new commitment?

Living the life of an Essentialist doesn’t have to mean ignoring the people and opportunities surrounding you. Rather, it means practicing the pause that allows you to truly consider whether you should invest your limited time and energy. Where your highest priorities align, knowing that saying yes supports your personal priorities brings joy. Because if we aren’t pursuing joy, what’s the point?